I shared my first Reading On My Mat post over the summer, outlining my yoga journey. I was a bit disappointed that the post didn't get much love and that made me a bit shy to write more. Coupled with the fact that I felt a bit shy about branching out a new direction with the blog.
But then two things happened. As I've shared before, I have a new obsession with watching BookTube videos and one of my favourites is TheBookHoarder. Her videos are fresh and exciting, and my favourite thus far has been her video about not following through on her big projects. This rang true for me, because I fall victim to the same thing. I have all these big ideas, but then never quite get around to doing them. Writing about yoga was something that I felt passionate about, but the longer I went since my initial post, the more I felt like a yoga fraud for even thinking that I could even try. But Dana makes a great point in her video: that it's okay to go crazy on a project, and then put it away for a while and revisit it when you're ready to do so. That resonated with me since it relates to how I feel about this blog -- it's always here and waiting for me when I'm ready.
The second thing was that I read this amazing article on DoYouYoga.com on the shape of your asana. The article speaks to how yoga practitioners often look around the room to compare the shape of their poses to those of others, and often feel inconsistent from class to class. I've wrestled with this both on and off the mat. Sometimes, I'm in the zone and feel like I'm pushing my poses to the next level, other times I wobble unsteadily and feel like I'm going to fall over. The first suggestion that the article offers is Close your eyes. By closing your eyes, you stop looking around at others and, therefore, stop comparing yourself to how others are doing. I've done this in a yoga class before and it is liberating. It takes the focus off the external, and shifts it to the internal. What I still need to work on is taking this practice off the mat. I need to close my eyes more often and stop worrying about what the world around me with think or say, and just take the plunge. Stop worrying about whether anyone will read these posts, and just write them because I want to. Stop thinking about whether I'm saying the right thing, and just be.