I recently read a beautiful post entitled Is My Writing Meaningless, over at one of my newly bookmarked blogs, Astronomical Books (this blog is BEAUTIFUL, friends, please go check it out!)
Helia's post really got me thinking about the meaning behind all of my written words, packed away inside two big boxes on my closet's floor. I've been keeping a journal since the age of 8, and have amassed TWO boxes of filled notebooks ever since then. I don't journal much these days, although at times I do miss it, especially when I feel guilty over all of the Marko moments that I've failed to document. But I digress.
Today, I hauled those boxes out of my closet to add them to the ever-growing stack of boxes that we're going to put in storage while we put our place on the market. As I sealed up both boxes, I reflected again on what I'm doing with all these words. Part of me thinks, "Oh, I'm preserving my history for Marko," but another part of me says, "Oh, hell no, there's no way he's looking into the mind of his mama as a 14-year-old!"
On one hand, I wish I could just have a big bonfire in the backyard, and say farewell, especially now that I'm going to take these boxes on their fourth big move; however, these boxes, these words scrawled on dozens of notebooks pages, represents something about ME. Even though I don't journal that much on paper anymore, even the words on this blog have represented something about me. My thoughts on parenting, a review of a book or the compilation of a top ten post. Looking back at some of my older posts on the blog is a reminder of how much I've grown as a writer during the 4+ years that I've been doing this. As embarrassing as some of my earlier posts may seem, I feel the same way about my childish journals, documenting early crushes or friendship follies. But each of those words, whether on paper or on screen, is part of my journey, my growth from the shy, gawky teenagers to (hopefully) a mature and confident adult.
Do you journal? If so, do you keep your journals or am I the only one with boxes full of adolescent embarrassment? Let me know in the comments below, and thank you so much for stopping by =)